


Are You Tired of Me Yet?

by taeminki



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Gen, WooMinChan are only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-21 16:05:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17046692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taeminki/pseuds/taeminki
Summary: Strangely, he feels at home in this place.





	Are You Tired of Me Yet?

**Author's Note:**

> ♪ this is home -cavetown

**[1].**    "Get a load of this monster."

It wasn't every day that Jeongin saw a bully... being bullied. It wasn't every day that some short kid stepped in front of him and insulted a bully right to his face. Shinhyuk was shocked at the finger pointed half an inch away from his nose, and stepped back -- something he almost never did. Jeongin was almost brave enough to dive in and save the life of the (small) kid in front of him, but as soon as Shinhyuk's eyebrow twitched, he knew they were both dead anyway. He might as well stay put.

"What did you just call me?" Shinhyuk asked, stepping forward again. The kid-- Jisung, as Jeongin (barely) knew-- didn't move. _Jeongin_  tried to take a step back, and he was already against the lockers.

"I called you a _monster_ \-- because anyone who picks on someone else shouldn't be labelled as anything more." Jisung said bravely. He was gone in a flash, because Shinhyuk had him by the shoulders, and moved past Jeongin to slam him against the lockers. Jeongin took a cowardly step back, his fingers shaking. Jisung seemed winded, but when Shinhyuk spit-- "You better watch who you're talking to, kid--" in his face, he didn't hesitate to talk back, "You better watch who _you're_  messing with."

"Oh, yeah? What are _you_ \--?" and Shinhyuk shoved him to the ground, "--going to do about it?"

" _I'm_ not going to do anything." Jisung said, leaning up against his elbows, and smiling bravely, "But bad people _never_  get good things."

Shinhyuk bent down to pick him up by the collar of his shirt, and slammed him against the lockers again, "It sounds like you're trying to threaten me, pretty boy."

"Shinhyuk, what the hell?" one of Shinhyuk's friends came by, and grabbed him by the shoulder. He glanced briefly at Jisung, but seemed to otherwise blow off the interaction entirely-- "We're going to be late for basketball."

"We're not done, kid." Shinhyuk said, pointing two fingers at his eyes and threatening Jisung with them. He was dragged off by his friend, who seemed to be running low on patience. Jeongin finally put himself back into the situation, and inched closer to Jisung, who was straightening out his sweater, and adjusting the strap of his bag. He poked softly at Jisung, and asked, "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay!" Jisung said, and his mouth was open for another statement, except someone came flying toward them and Jeongin nearly had a heart attack, dropping straight to the floor as a voice called, "Jisung!"

Jeongin picked himself up off the floor slowly, embarrassed. Neither of the two boys in front of him noticed, as the new, taller one was fretting over Jisung and Jisung was laughing, and looking up at him sweetly. Jeongin missed half of what the tall kid said-- he was so damn rushed, but he caught Jisung's response, "I'm fine! Shinhyuk is just being a bully as always."

"I'll kick his ass one day. Changbin-hyung will help me," the taller boy said, pulling Jisung to him. He finally looked at Jeongin, and smiled sweetly, "Hi. I'm Hyunjin."

"Oh," Jisung said suddenly, wriggling around in Hyunjin's arms so his face was no longer against the male's chest, and his words were no longer muffled, "I'm Jisung. Your name is Jeongin, right?"

 _Jeongin, there are two people in front of you. It's only two, and they're both nice. They seem nice. Jisung is nice. He saved you from being bullied. He's nice. You owe him; he got bullied for you_. Jeongin hated the attention he was getting. It made him anxious. His palms shook, and he clamped them around the strap of his bag as he told them, "Yeah, I'm... Jeongin. It's nice to meet you."

"Are you okay, love?" Jisung asked. Jeongin blinked a few rapid times at that: _love_. That was kind of cute, Jeongin thought, and he nodded, "I'm okay, yes. Thank you. Thank you for helping me. He-- Shinhyuk bothers me a lot."

"We can make sure he doesn't anymore." Jisung said, tapping Hyunjin's hand to indicate that he was included in _we_. "Why don't you come have lunch with my friends and I today? They'd really love to meet you, I think--and we can all stick together, yeah? We can make sure this doesn't happen again--at the very least, not while you're alone."

"This is--sudden." Jeongin admitted, and he didn't mean to say it out loud, but it just fell out of his mouth. Jisung laughed a bit, "Well, people get pulled into our friend group pretty fast. We're just a bunch of kids who have been bullied. Except for Changbin-hyung-- he's just there to protect us."

"He's been bullied a bit, he just doesn't want to admit it." Hyunjin said, and Jisung laughed. His laugh made Jeongin smile a little; and Jeongin's smile got him agreeing, "Okay. I'd really like to have lunch with you."

"Perfect," Jisung said, taking Hyunjin's hand and gesturing to Jeongin to follow him. Jisung and his friends ate outside; Jeongin almost never did, but he didn't mind stepping outside of the suffocating walls of the school building. Jisung explained to Jeongin, as they were walking, "There are five of us in total-- it'll be six with you. We have some older friends who graduated already, and one that comes around every once in a while--but he's a senior, and he tends to get pretty busy most of the time. Plus, he has his own friends, and he's kind of over this whole _protection squad_  thing. He hasn't been bullied since his freshman year."

"The five of us will tell you the whole story." Hyunjin said. He still had an arm around Jisung's waist. Jeongin wondered if they were together. He wondered if Hyunjin was just protective. He kind of liked to think that: _Hyunjin is really protective_. It would be sweet. Jeongin liked to be protected. _Maybe that's why I like Jisung so much already_.

"There you are!" a voice called. Jeongin looked. He saw three boys sitting together; one was laying on his stomach, and had begun to sit up. The other two were laying together; one had his back against a tree, and the other had his back against him. The one against the tree was feeding the one against his stomach. He saw a variety of hair colors-- black on the boy against the tree, bright blonde on the one he was feeding. The one speaking, "I thought I was going to have to send Changbin-hyung after you!" had red hair. Jeongin didn't have to look back at Jisung and Hyunjin to recall that they both had brown hair.

"Like you could pull Felix off of him right now," Hyunjin said. He finally detached himself from Jisung and lay on the ground, mirroring the position of the boy with red hair, except he was laying facing the boy with the sandwich, and his lips were parted, an "ah!" breaking his silence. One roll of sandwich boy's eyes later, and Hyunjin's mouth was full, and he was chewing happily.

"I'm going to starve because of you two," sandwich boy said, taking a bite. He looked at Jeongin, and smiled, "Hello."

"Hi," Jeongin said softly. Jisung pat his shoulder, "This is Jeongin. He, if he wants to, will join us."

"Oh," said the red-haired boy. Jeongin was nervous for a moment--did they not want him? Was he not welcome here? He gripped for the strap of his bag, trying to control the shake of his palms. _They don't want me; I'm not welcome here_ \--

"Baby, I'm sorry," the red-haired boy followed up, gesturing Jeongin to come forward, "Are you a freshman?"

"Yes," Jeongin said quietly. He moved toward the red boy, and sat down. Red reached for him, asking, "Can I give you a hug?" and Jeongin had ever been _asked_  if he could be hugged before. He nodded; and red hugged him.

"We're all here for you." Red said, patting Jeongin's back a few times. He pulled away from the hug; and Jisung was sitting next to him, now. Red continued to speak, "I'm sorry you're being bullied. We've all been in that boat-- some of us still are, unfortunately. Your name is Jeongin?"

Jeongin nodded. Red smiled, "I'm Seungmin."

"I'm Changbin," said sandwich boy, and the one he was feeding brought his left hand up to hover over his own mouth so he could speak with half a mouthful of sandwich still stuffed into his cheeks, "My name is Felix."

"You-- have all of you been bullied?" Jeongin asked. For a moment, there were only nods, and Jeongin was afraid asking was pushing it, but then Changbin spoke, "I wasn't _really_ bullied. I was in this group of friends that liked to bully people and they'd turn on me if I didn't join them, so... that was rough."

"That's how this group started," Hyunjin said. His hand was on Changbin's thigh, now, and it was petting up and down for comfort, "A few of our older friends-- Chan and Woojin, who graduated, and Minho, saw Changbin being bullied by his group of friends. They knew him as a bully so they were kind of confused, and decided to talk to him. Changbin explained his situation, and they got him out of it."

"It was Changbin's idea to start befriending kids who were being bullied." Seungmin said. "I was the first. I was one of the kids he bullied."

Jeongin's eyes went wide. Changbin chewed on his bottom lip for a moment, and Seungmin continued immediately, "I don't care anymore. I understand why he did it-- I'd be scared if my friends were like that, too. What else can you do if you're being threatened?"

Jeongin nodded. He didn't think he could ever be friends with his bully, no matter why they were bullying him. He supposed that was his opinion, though. He wasn't Seungmin. Maybe Changbin wasn't even that bad. Jeongin almost didn't want to know.

"Who... came next?" Jeongin asked softly. Seungmin pointed to Felix, who's mouth was full of sandwich again. Felix laughed, and covered up his mouth with his hand again, "I transferred here at... the beginning of last year. My Korean was _awful_. I'm still not completely comfortable with it yet, but I was be-- be-- I just learned this word yesterday, um--"

"Belittled, babe," Seungmin said softly, and Felix nodded, "I was belittled a lot because of it. Thanks, Min."

Seungmin smiled. Jeongin pouted his lips for a moment, and then he bit the inside of his bottom one, and told Felix, "Your Korean is good."

"Thank you, Jeong-- Jeongin? I'm sorry." Felix said, and Jeongin nodded, "Jeongin."

"Thank you." Felix said, smiling. Hyunjin spoke next, "Jisung and I were added together. We're too affectionate, so a lot of people thought we were together, and they thought it was gross. We're not together, though-- Jisung is an orphan, and my parents foster him. But we don't really let people know that."

Jisung nodded softly, "Hyunjin is like my big brother-- even though he's not much older than me. But, he is a _little_  older, and he's a little taller, so he's my big brother."

"That's cute," Jeongin commented-- didn't mean to, again, but he had a lot of slip-ups in his speech. That's what got him bullied, he thought; he said things on impulse sometimes, unless he was scared, and people got angry at him for it. Shinhyuk started to bully him that way; he was bugging Jeongin, and Jeongin told him "You're annoying me," and he didn't mean to, but Shinhyuk had held a grudge ever since. (Him bugging Jeongin was the start of it; he was annoying Jeongin on purpose, but it didn't get painfully physical until _after_  Jeongin spoke up about it. Before, it was all pokes and ear tugs-- never slamming Jeongin into a locker or, once, punching him square in the jaw for talking back to him.)

"Thank you." Jisung said, and he reached up to pet Jeongin's hair, "You're cute, too."

Jeongin smiled at him; and he still felt a little awkward, because he _was_  awkward, but he also felt comfortable here. He felt accepted, and he had a bit of hope that his awkwardness could potentially fade after a while--at least with this group of boys. And that was a nice thought to have.

 

 

 

 **[2].**    "He doesn't know how to communicate."

Jeongin had to stop reading for half a moment. The sentence resonated with him, for some reason. He played off his skip in reading as a cough, and continued, trying not to fumble like that again. _This_  is why he hated to read aloud, with the rest of the class listening in. Some of these words cut too deep. Some of these phrases took his breath away. It was such a simple sentence, and even the _author_  skipped over it, but it cut into Jeongin so _deeply_ \--he couldn't ignore it (and even had to focus on it, for a moment).

"Thank you, Jeongin. Choose someone to read next, please?"

Jeongin glanced around. He didn't know anybody. _This_  is also why he hated to read aloud, with the rest of the class listening in. When he was done reading, he didn't just get to immediately fall into his own mind with _I messed up this word_ and _I really fumbled because a character doesn't know how to communicate_ ; he had to look around, and try to recall names, and try to remember who hadn't already read, and, really, it was just way more stressful than it needed to be.

A tap on his shoulder had him turning around, and he spotted Felix behind him-- but not _really_  behind him, more diagonal-- like, if he was one seat up, he would be directly to Jeongin's right. It was kind of an awkward position for him to lean (all the way) out of his chair and tap on Jeongin's shoulder, but he saved Jeongin's awkward life as he waved and gestured and Jeongin weakly and awkwardly pointed and told his teacher, "Felix."

Felix started reading, and someone after him, and someone else, probably, but Jeongin had stopped listening. He thought about how awkward he was, and how _he doesn't know how to communicate_ , and that took over his mind for the rest of the hour.

"Hey," Felix caught up with him in the hallway after class. He had been running; Jeongin felt the rush of air that came with his approach, and the breathlessness of his voice, "You okay? You seemed a little out of it in class."

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine." Jeongin said, turning his hands around the strap of his bag, "Thank you, by the way-- for letting me pick you to read. I know, uh-- I remember you telling me you're not... _really_  confident in Korean yet."

"That's okay. It's-- kind of, _really_  annoying to try to find someone to call on to read." Felix said. Jeongin nodded, thinking briefly _this is a bigger deal than it needed to be_. Reading wasn't a big deal. This conversation didn't even need to be happening--but at least this gave Jeongin something to talk to Felix about--except, now, Jeongin had no idea what else to say on the subject, and he didn't have anything else to talk about, and he was starting to hate himself.

"Are you doing anything after school today?" Felix asked, and Jeongin had to process the rest of the conversation to try to understand where that came from. They hadn't talked about hanging out. Is that what Felix wanted? To hang out?

"N-no." Jeongin answered, and Felix smiled, "Do you want to come over to my house? I live really close-- and my mom can take you home after, too. We can do the worksheet for this chapter together. I think I could use some help with it, honestly. I'm not understanding a lot of the book."

"Oh," Jeongin said, and he nodded, "Okay."

"Perfect! My class is on the other side of the school, so I have to run, but I'll get your number at lunch! We can figure out where to meet after school, too. See you, Jeongin!"

Jeongin waved after him, though Felix had his back turned, now. Jeongin smiled a bit to himself; he liked Felix. Felix was nice, and sweet, and selfless. All of them were-- Felix, and Seungmin, and Changbin, and Hyunjin, and Jisung. Jeongin really liked all of them. He hoped they liked him, too.

Jeongin gasped when his shoulders were suddenly pressed back against the wall; the air was knocked out of him for a moment. Shinhyuk was standing in front of him, and he was smirking, and scoffing, "The hell are you smiling at, brace face? Why are you hanging around my class, huh?"

 _Brace face_ had to be the dumbest thing Jeongin had heard up to that moment in time. Everything Shinhyuk did was so _dumb_ ; Shinhyuk was so _stupid_. He was making Jeongin so uncomfortable for no reason; he was targeting Jeongin for _no reason_. Jeongin was _so_  frustrated, and he didn't think he'd ever felt this frustrated in his life. Unfortunately, his anger brought tears to his eyes, and Shinhyuk cooed condescendingly at him, "Aww, what's wrong? Bitch boy can't handle a little bit of teasing?"

"Aren't you older than me?" Jeongin spat, "Don't you have better things to do than target someone _two years_ younger than you?"

"Seeing you squirm is my favorite pastime, Yang." Shinhyuk said, stepping closer. Personal space, Jeongin thought briefly, but he had nowhere else to go. _Wasn't there a teacher in the room?_ Jeongin turned his head to look at the door, but Shinhyuk gripped his chin, and forced Jeongin to look forward, "Why is it your business, anyway?"

"Because you're _bullying me_." Jeongin said, shoving Shinhyuk's chest. Shinhyuk stumbled, and looked at Jeongin incredulously, "Did you just _push me_ , Yang?"

Shinhyuk grabbed Jeongin's jaw and pressed his head back against the wall. Jeongin squirmed against him, but Shinhyuk's grip was tight, "I'm not _bullying you_ , Yang, I'm just _teasing_ you. I'm _having fun_  with you. Don't you think you're being a little dramatic? Can't take a joke?"

"I don't _like you_." Jeongin said, finally getting a decent enough grip on Shinhyuk's wrist to shove his hand away, "It's only _teasing_  if I _tolerate you_."

Shinhyuk grabbed Jeongin's shoulder and shoved him away from the wall, tripping him into the hallway. A few girls gasped at seeing Jeongin suddenly fly into the ground; people were still trying to get to class, with only two (hopefully at _least_  two) minutes to get there. Shinhyuk watched Jeongin fall and scoffed at him, didn't say another word before disappearing into the classroom. It was then that Jeongin realized he didn't want to be caught; if it weren't for the attention Jeongin had gained, Shinhyuk would have spat more angry words at him.

"Are you okay?" one of the girls asked, stooping to help Jeongin sit up. Jeongin looked at her, and nodded. Another girl walked to the other side of him, and they helped him to his feet-- helped him adjust his jacket. "Do you need to go to the nurse?"

"No, I'm okay," Jeongin said. There were four girls around him, he counted. They were pretty, and he was nervous; he gripped the strap of his bag and told them, "Thank you."

"Of course," one girl said, "Go to class safely, okay?"

"Y-you too." Jeongin said. The girls gave him smiles and little pats on the shoulder before walking away, and Jeongin looked after them for a moment before thinking _I'm being creepy_ , and walking down the hall the opposite way. He was half a minute late to class, and he profusely apologized to the teacher upon walking it, and after the class had filed out an hour later. He was kind, and he thought Jeongin was cute, and he didn't punish Jeongin at all. Jeongin was lucky.

\-- And he was lucky to make it outside to eat lunch with his new friends without running into Shinhyuk. He was lucky to hand his phone over to Felix before feeling cold liquid splash on him, drowning him. He tried to think about that as the milk soaked into his shirt and hair. He was lucky he wasn't alone when Shinhyuk targeted him, and he was lucky Shinhyuk didn't break his phone with milk.

Jeongin heard a scuffle, and a lot of yelling. He rubbed his eyes to see Felix hugging Changbin's waist, and Jisung holding onto Hyunjin. Seungmin had stood, and Jeongin processed the words being shouted, "You'll die one day, Shinhyuk!" "Leave Jeongin the _hell_  alone!" and realized that Jisung and Felix were holding Changbin and Hyunjin back. Shinhyuk-- cowardly as he was-- was running away from the scene.

"Stop!" Jisung said, now hugging Hyunjin's chest, "Stop, it's not worth it! You can't hurt him, it's not the answer!"

"Jisung," Hyunjin said softly, finally calming down. He held Jisung, too; his grip was so tight, and Jeongin stared at them in wonder. He looked to Changbin and Felix; Changbin, who was fuming, but was also hugging Felix.

"Baby," Seungmin said, ripping his attention away from Shinhyuk, who had fully retreated back into the school building. He stooped next to Jeongin and didn't know what to do. He wrung out Jeongin's shirt and tried to rub the milk out of his hair with his palms, "Baby-- baby, I'm so sorry."

"I'm okay," Jeongin said, but his voice broke and there were hot tears streaming down his face. The other four gathered around him; Hyunjin had napkins to wipe off Jeongin's face, and Changbin softly suggested pouring some water through Jeongin's hair to clean the milk out. Jeongin sniffled softly, and said, "I think-- I think I'll just... go to the office. I'll-- I'll go home."

"We'll come with you." Felix said immediately, but Jeongin shook his head, "No, no, it's okay, I'll-- I'll go alone. I-I want to go alone."

"Baby, are you sure? I'm worried about Shinhyuk getting you again." Seungmin said. Jeongin nodded. Hyunjin sent him with more napkins, and Felix handed his phone back, gently telling him his number was in there, and to please text him when he got home and showered, and let Felix know how he was doing; they could do the worksheet tomorrow. Jeongin nodded, and thanked them all, and walked away crying. He walked into the office crying, and told them he should go home; and they called his sister, and she took him home.

"You still haven't told mom and dad about this, have you?" she asked upon picking Jeongin up. He shook his head, rubbing his eyes with one of the napkins Hyunjin had given him. Chaeyeon sighed softly, and told him, "Come on, get in."

"I'm covered in milk...."

"It's alright, these seats wash. Come on," she said. He climbed in, and he strapped himself in. He rubbed his eyes again, and told her, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I don't have classes again for--" Chaeyeon looked at her watch-- "well, only an hour. You want me to stay with you, Innie?"

"No, it's fine. College is important." Jeongin said. She glanced over at him for a moment, and pat his thigh over the seat, "So are you, Innie. If you're not going to be okay by yourself, I'm going to stay with you, okay?"

"No, it's fine. I-I have a friend that I could call after I shower... he'll probably be out of school by then." Jeongin said. Chaeyeon was silent for a moment, studying him at the stoplight, and then she accepted it-- "Okay. You really like this friend of yours?"

"I do." Jeongin said softly, smiling as he thought about Felix-- and Seungmin, and Changbin, and Hyunjin, and Jisung, "I know I don't hang out with people often, but I really like him. He's really nice."

"Good," Chaeyeon said. "I'd love to meet him soon. If you like him, he must be _really_  nice."

"I actually have a group of friends." Jeongin said, and she smiled, "See? What did I tell you? Making friends isn't that hard, right?"

"It was because of Shinhyuk," Jeongin said, and Chaeyeon frowned, "What do you mean?"

"One of my friends stopped him from picking on me one day, and he took me to meet his group of friends. They... adopted me into their group. They've all been bullied, too." Jeongin said. Chaeyeon was silent for a moment; and Jeongin knew this silence. She didn't know what to say. She still had a little smile on her face, though; and, eventually, she did speak, "So, you all have something to relate to each other with. I'm sorry it had to be _bullying_ , but... they understand you. They can protect you."

"Yes." Jeongin said, "And they do. They helped me when Shinhyuk poured milk on me. They got as much as they could off-- they even wanted to rinse my hair with Changbin's water bottle. I-I was really embarrassed, though, and I just wanted to get out of there."

"I understand that. Well, they sound wonderful, Jeongin. I'm really glad you found them," Chaeyeon said, and Jeongin agreed. She stopped the car, and Jeongin looked out to see home right in front of him. He felt relief wash over him-- _home_. When school was bad, home had always been so good. His mother and his father were always there to talk to, and to comfort him, even when he was being a little dramatic. His sister was always there-- like now-- to help him out, and listen to his stories. He felt bad for not asking her how her classes were going, but he asked, "Are you going to be here this weekend?"

"I am," she said, and Jeongin beamed, "Good."

"Go wash up, Innie," she said, softly tapping his leg, "I'll see you in a couple days, okay? Stay safe."

"I will." Jeongin said. He got out of the car, and leaned down, telling her "Thank you" before shutting the door. She waited until he was inside before driving off, and Jeongin immediately started to undress when he was inside. He was home alone-- save for his dog, who came running to him, not even minding the way he must have reeked of milk. She hopped into his lap when he crouched, and started to lick his face when he toppled over, laughing.

"Yoo," Jeongin giggled, softly brushing his dog away, "Yoo, I _can't_  taste good. Sit, girl."

She sat. Jeongin kissed her head, and stood again, continued to undress himself. He tossed his clothes in the washer-- didn't start it yet, because he would need to add more to the load before doing so. He went upstairs to shower, and dumped the rest of the laundry that had accumulated over the week into the washer. He felt refreshed, afterwards-- still a little humiliated, and a little hesitant to text Felix, but at the very least, he felt relaxed.

 _I made it home. I'm sorry for leaving so fast. I was really embarrassed_.

Jeongin thought about what to do while he waited for Felix to reply. Should he go do homework with Felix after all? He didn't really want to. He had thrown his bag into the wash with his clothes, because milk had splattered onto it-- luckily, not onto the contents of it. He would feel pretty bad for leaving Felix hanging with the worksheet, especially since Felix had admitted the other day that he was repeating that class because he failed it last year--Korean was _so_  hard, and he just wasn't doing well with it.

Jeongin's phone dinged with a message from Felix: _it's okay! we were just worried about you. if you still want to come over, seungmin's here helping me with my worksheet. if not, we can hang out this weekend!_

Seungmin was helping him. Maybe Jeongin didn't have to feel so bad about leaving Felix hanging.... Maybe Jeongin should stop being such a recluse, though.... Maybe he could just save his energy for the weekend.... His sister wanted to meet his friends anyway.... Yes, he would save his energy for the weekend.

_I'll stay home today, but we can definitely hang out this weekend :)_

_okay! I'll see you tomorrow. if you need to call on me to read again, I'll be ready ;)_

Jeongin smiled softly, and thought back to class that morning. He remembered how bad his breath caught when he read that line: _he doesn't know how to communicate_. Maybe he wasn't all that bad at communicating, after all. (Maybe he was, but he was getting better at the very least.)

 

 

 

 **[3].**    "His mind is in a different place."

Jeongin felt a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up when he processed the touch and the words. All eyes were on him; Chaeyeon was next to him, capturing his attention with her soft touch, and his friends were around him, too, all giving him gentle smiles that matched the mood of his sister's. He realized what Chaeyeon had said was directed to him, and he asked, "What?"

"We were talking about you, but you zoned out." Chaeyeon said, running a gentle hand along the back of her brother's hair-- and then she laughed, "You need to cut this."

"I know," Jeongin said, rolling his eyes up to look at his bangs. She brushed her fingers through them, too, and then she turned back to Jeongin's friends, "It was really nice to meet you all. I'm going to go help my parents cook-- you boys make yourselves comfortable, okay? Living room's all yours."

Chaeyeon left the room, and Jeongin invited his friends to sit on the couches. Jisung flopped down onto one and stretched over it, telling Jeongin, "Your house is so fancy--" and groaning as Hyunjin flopped down onto him. The two of them laughed, and Jeongin shrugged, "My mom and dad fixed it up really well."

"Thanks for inviting us over, Innie." Hyunjin said. _Innie_ ; Jeongin beamed. Hyunjin had attached to the nickname the moment his sister said it out loud; he could see the light bulb brighten above his head. He had commented, "Innie? That's cute," and Chaeyeon had shrugged, "I think my mom came up with it, but I've been calling him that since he was born. We also call him _fox_ , but that's pretty rare."

"Fox."

"He looks like one."

Jeongin recalls that being where he zoned out. He had no idea how long he had stared off into space before his sister commented on it, but he tried his best to avoid it now. He looked back at the couch near the door, and saw Felix, Changbin, and Seungmin had already occupied the space. Jeongin moved to sit with Jisung and Hyunjin. They parted and let him sit between them. He felt kind of special between the brothers.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Jeongin asked shyly, "Or-- maybe an episode of a show? Dinner will be ready soon."

"I know a _good_  show!" Felix said happily, "Can I put it on?"

"Of course," Jeongin said softly, grabbing the remote and walking it over to Felix. Felix laughed, "I totally could have caught it if you threw it," and Jeongin shrugged, "I can't really throw that well."

Felix laughed again. He turned on the television, a bit slow with the buttons, as the remote must have been quite different from his, and it took him a moment to find everything. Changbin helped him, even-- pointing out the button to flip through channels. Felix found the show he wanted and laughed happily, "It just started! Perfect!"

He selected the show and put the remote in front of him, leaning forward against his knees as the show's introduction blared to life. Jeongin never found out the name of it-- wasn't completely interested in it, but he felt happy just spending time with his friends in his home-- liked to hear Felix shush Seungmin when Seungmin tried to talk over the show, and liked to laugh at the little comments Jisung and Hyunjin would whisper to each other. He felt special when Hyunjin grabbed his hand about five minutes into the episode and played with his fingers. He felt special when Jisung wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and again when Jisung leaned against his lap to get a better look at the screen to see the message the main character was typing out. He found it _so_  funny when someone suddenly popped onto the screen and a couple of his friends screamed-- namely, Jisung and Hyunjin. He cracked up even more upon seeing the three heads that turned to look at them curiously, and then burst into fits of laughter at how easily scared the two of them were.

When dinner was ready, the episode was just finishing up. Jeongin told his friends he was going to help set the table, and they could come join him now, or in a few minutes, when the episode finished. Seungmin ended up coming with him right away; Hyunjin joined a moment after. They helped set the table, and settled on either side of Jeongin. The table was a little cramped today, as there were nine seats there, but his parents couldn't have been happier to have his friends along-- even if cooking took a little longer, and even if rearranging the table was a bit of a hassle. They had just finished, in fact, and had all sat in their seats when Felix, Changbin, and Jisung came into the room, laughing about something that had happened at the end of the episode.

"Welcome, boys," Jeongin's mother said happily. She was smiling so wide; Jeongin didn't think he had ever seen her so happy. (He had; he was being dramatic, but it was notably sweet how happy she was that Jeongin had friends over.) "It's wonderful to have you all."

Different versions of _thank you_ and _you, too_ sounded around the table at the same time, and Jeongin's mother was ecstatic, "Oh, I never have so many people at the table at once-- this is so wonderful."

Jeongin's father reached over, laughing, to rub her shoulder. Then, he gestured to the meal, "Please, help yourselves."

Different, silly conversations went around the table. Chaeyeon talked about college, and how she got the opportunity to paint one of the building's walls with her friends and other club members. Jeongin's family shared stories about him, and Jeongin's friends talked about how they met him-- easily leaving out the part about bullying. They talked about classes and what they wanted to do in the future, and Jeongin shared little bits of information that his friends didn't know when his family brought up certain topics. It was a lively conversation, and everyone got to talk, and Jeongin's parents fell _in love_ with Seungmin-- his soft voice, his smile, and his love for singing and his willingness to sing when they kindly wondered if he would, just a little bit, because Jeongin's mother was so curious, and she absolutely _adored_  acoustic voices. Hyunjin and Jeongin, upon request, worked together to hover their hands over Seungmin's embarrassed face while he sang, but he sang, and they all applauded him softly at the end.

Jeongin found out a lot about his friends in that conversation, and he witnessed his family slowly fall in love with his friends, and he witnessed his friends slowly fall in love with his family; and while he did feel like a witness, he didn't feel like he was on the _sidelines_. Rather, he felt like he was watching flowers bloom in high speed from the middle of a field; and he had never seen something as beautiful as that before.

 

 

 

 **[4].**    "Will everybody please give him a little bit of space?"

Jeongin came to in the middle of the hallway. Everything was fuzzy, and he had no idea what was happening. He remembered seeing Shinhyuk stalk toward him, and he remembered hearing someone shout. Someone was shouting now, " _Please_ , back off!" and Jeongin wondered, "Hyunjin?"

"I'm here, Innie," Hyunjin said, and Jeongin guessed the hand on his cheek was Hyunjin's. He forced himself to focus, and saw Hyunjin above him, smiling softly. He heard some muttering around him, and he heard Changbin, too, "I'll kill him-- I'll _kill_  Shinhyuk."

"Binnie," Felix said softly, and Jeongin decided to sit up. Hyunjin helped him, telling him, "Careful, Innie, you hit your head;" and Jeongin laughed, "It feels like it."

"You okay?" Felix asked. Jeongin looked at him. Changbin had his arms around Felix, his fingers laced through the younger's; and Jeongin wondered if Felix was Changbin's anchor, the way Jisung was Hyunjin's. He wondered if Felix was the calm before the storm-- the calm that _prevented_  the storm, same as Jisung; because it always seemed to be Jisung and Felix that calmed Hyunjin and Changbin, respectively, down.

"I'm fine." Jeongin said. He rubbed his eyes, "I honestly don't even know what happened."

"We're not sure either, Innie." Hyunjin said. It was then that Seungmin and Jisung came to Jeongin's sides; Jisung, with a concerned "Are you okay?" and Seungmin with a huff, "These people will _not_ back off."

"Because everyone's _so_  curious and can't mind their _damn_ business," Changbin said, a bit loud. A scoff sounded from their left, and the group of friends turned. Shinhyuk was standing there with his arms crossed. He spoke as soon as their attention was on him, "You sound just like you used to, Changbin."

"Go away." Changbin said shortly. Felix squeezed his hands, but Changbin pulled them away-- gently nudged Felix off of him and stood up. Hyunjin stood, too; and Felix and Jisung scrambled to their feet. Seungmin stay with Jeongin on the ground, his arms slipping around the boy protectively.

"Why? We're friends, Changbin." Shinhyuk said, grinning. Changbin scoffed, "No, we're absolutely not friends. We were never _friends_ \-- you were a manipulative piece of shit, and I wish I never knew you."

"You don't mean that." Shinhyuk said.

"Yes, I do." Changbin said. "And I know why you're here. I know why the only people you can bully are freshman who don't know the reputation you've had. You're a _coward_ , Shinhyuk. Everyone left you. Everyone realized that you're just some spoiled rich kid who doesn't know how to interact with people unless you put yourself above them. You want to be head of the crowd, Shinhyuk, but the truth is-- _no one likes you_."

Shinhyuk stared at Changbin for a while. Jeongin couldn't see Shinhyuk's reaction from where he was, as Felix had shifted to stand a bit closer to Changbin, holding his arm. Jeongin was breathless, though; the hallway was silent, and it was only Shinhyuk's quivering voice that cut through it, "You're just like me, Changbin. Your words cut pretty deep.... I taught you well."

Changbin shook his head, a long, impatient sigh sinking his chest, "Get out of here."

Shinhyuk did; he left. He headed past them, giving Jeongin a long stare as he walked away. Other heads turned to watch Shinhyuk walk down the hall, but Jeongin was focused on his friends. Changbin had begun to walk, too, making a beeline for the exit. Felix ran immediately after him, and Hyunjin and Jisung followed. Seungmin helped Jeongin stand, and they followed the rest outside.

"Binnie. Binnie--" Felix was clinging onto Changbin, trying to comfort him, while Changbin was sobbing, and crouching against the front wall of the school. The six of them weren't supposed to be outside, but that didn't matter, did it? Jeongin kept himself focused, and watched Changbin open his arms, and let Felix hold him.

"Don't listen to him." Felix said, rubbing Changbin's back. "He's been pushing you for too long-- he deserved to hear that."

"No he didn't. _No he didn't_." Changbin sobbed. His hands had formed fists, and they were clutching Felix's jacket, "Felix, I've been a bully before-- Felix, I've _been_ bullied before-- Felix, I was supposed to let it go. Lix, no one deserves it. I keep threatening to hurt him-- Lix, I'm toxic, just like he is. _Lix_ \--"

"Stop," Felix said brokenly, readjusting to hold Changbin even tighter, "You're not. You're being protective, Binnie, it's okay. You're protecting us, Binnie-- you're protecting _Jeongin_. It's different, I promise it's different."

"I don't want to hurt anyone. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm _so_ sorry." Changbin sobbed. Jeongin felt a tear streak down his cheek, and reached to rub it off. He realized the others were crying, too; Jisung's face was contorted with concern, and Hyunjin was crying silently. He looked to Seungmin, who was staring, but wasn't crying. Seungmin looked at him, and gave him a sad smile-- wiped the tears off of Jeongin's cheeks, and told him, "That was rough on him. He always feels guilty when he hurts people."

"He was defending us." Jeongin said softly, and he had an idea, and he called for Changbin, "Binnie-hyung."

Changbin didn't look, but he stopped crying, and Felix looked, and smiled, "Yes, Jeongin?"

"Shinhyuk likes to hurt you with words." Jeongin said. He started to walk towards Changbin, and sat right next to him, "But if he liked to hurt you with fists, and you hit him back, what would that be?"

"Self-defense," Felix whispered to Changbin, who had his hands buried in his face since Felix had peeled himself away from Changbin's chest. Jeongin nodded, "Exactly. You'd be defending yourself. So, if he hurts with words, and you hurt _him_  with words, what are you doing?"

Changbin was silent for a while, but he muttered out the words, "Defending myself."

"And us." Jeongin said. He moved forward just enough to reach for Changbin and pet his hair, "You defended us. You defended me, and yourself. Thank you."

Changbin looked at Jeongin, a minute smile breaking through the pain on his face. He hugged Jeongin, and kissed the side of his head, and told the younger, "I'll keep defending you, okay? Shinhyuk is _horrible_."

"I know." Jeongin said, and he was almost sure of it, but he asked anyway, "Was he the friend that bullied you into bullying Seungmin?"

"He's the one person who fucks with us all." Changbin said, sighing heavily, relaxing a little bit now that he had cried himself out, and started to feel a little better about ripping Shinhyuk apart, "I wish he would go away."

"I do, too." Jeongin said; and he heard some hums of agreement that made him laugh, and his laugh made everyone else laugh, too. Upon checking the time and realizing that they were all late to class, the six of them decided it wasn't worth it to try running to class and apologizing to their teachers, so they ditched campus and went to the pizza place down the street, all pitching in to order a pizza they could share. (They requested the pizza be cut into six slices instead of eight; and they each got on big slice of pizza to eat. They laughed together over their snack, and forgot about Shinhyuk for a while.)

 

 

 

 **[5].**    "Get a load of this train-wreck."

Jeongin finally understood what had happened weeks ago, when he woke up in the middle of the hallway with people surrounding him. He understood that it was Shinhyuk's fault, but none of his friends could tell him if he had been hit or _what_ , because Jisung was the only one near Jeongin when he collapsed, and he hadn't seen what happened because Shinhyuk and the people that surrounded him were blocking his view of Jeongin.

Now, though, with Shinhyuk towering over him, and Jeongin crouching on the ground, he understood. He didn't even remembered when he had dropped to the floor, but he knew why. Shinhyuk scared him. Shinhyuk _terrified_  him. He saw Shinhyuk coming toward him and he felt Shinhyuk standing above him and he dropped in fear, and his heart raced and he trembled. He could barely breathe, and he wondered what it was that had him so scared _now_. He wondered what had changed that had him so _afraid_.

"I'm not--" Jeongin said, and Shinhyuk kicked him in the stomach, sending Jeongin toppling over with a gasp. He splattered against the ground, holding his pained stomach. Shinhyuk spat at him, " _Shut up!_ "

"S-stop--" Jeongin said. Shinhyuk reached down and dragged Jeongin up, screaming " _Get up!_ " when he couldn't pull Jeongin all the way to his feet. Eventually, Jeongin was standing, and Shinhyuk dragged him by his arm-- dragged him out of the school, which had its back doors open now that classes were over, and everyone was dismissed for the day. Jeongin was terrified, because he had no idea where his friends were, and no idea where Shinhyuk was taking him, and no idea if anyone was going to see him, or help him.

Shinhyuk dragged him outside and immediately threw him against the ground-- which, luckily, was grass. He crouched next to Jeongin and dragged his upper body by the front of his shirt, and got right in his face, " _You stole Changbin from me_."

"Wh-what?" Jeongin sputtered, and Shinhyuk pushed him back against the ground, dragged him up again, "You took _everything_  from me."

"N-no--" Jeongin said. Shinhyuk hit him, and the pain burst against Jeongin's cheek. Tears filled his eyes, and he cried, kicking his feet, flailing his arms, "Stop! Leave me alone-- get away from me-- stop it!"

"SHUT UP!" Shinhyuk screamed at him, slapping him this time, "I wish you'd just _keep your stupid mouth shut_. I was _teasing you_ , Jeongin! I was _messing with you_ , and you had to go and make _everyone_  believe that I'm some fucked up _bully_  that picks on younger kids!"

"You _are_  a bully!" Jeongin screeched, still trying to kick and hit Shinhyuk away, "You're a bully and a coward, just like Changbin-hyung said! He was right! Get away! Get away, get away!"

"I'll kill you," Shinhyuk said, hitting Jeongin again, "I'll _kill you, you stupid brat!_ "

"Jeongin!" a voice screamed, and Shinhyuk dropped Jeongin in shock. Jisung was running toward them; and he lunged for Shinhyuk, knocking him away from Jeongin. His hands started flailing, and he was crying, "Go away! Go away, go away!"

Jeongin was shocked to see Jisung react like that, and he reached for his friend, wrapping his arms around Jisung's waist and pulling him off of Shinhyuk. Shinhyuk scrambled to his feet and ran away, and Jeongin watched the coward go for a second before focusing on Jisung, who was crying and throwing his arms around Jeongin, "Are you okay? Did he hurt you, did he hurt you?"

"Doesn't he always?" Jeongin asked shakily. Jisung sobbed, and pulled back, and he was pressing his fingers softly against Jeongin's neck, "Are you okay? Can you breathe? Jeongin--"

"I'm fine. Jisung, I'm fine, he just hit me-- I'm okay." Jeongin said, and Jisung sobbed again, falling against Jeongin's chest, looping his arms around the younger's waist. Jisung babbled on as he sobbed, "I'm sorry. I'm _sorry_ , he-- he said he was going to kill you and-- I thought he had his hands around your _throat_ \--"

"No," Jeongin said softly, petting Jisung's head, "No, he didn't. I'm okay."

"I hate him." Jisung cried, "I hate him so much. I said I would never hit anyone but he-- he made me think he was _killing you_  and I hit him and I _hate him_."

"It's okay," Jeongin said. "I'm sorry. I hate him too. I'm okay. Jisung, I-- I love you."

"I love you too, baby fox." Jisung muttered, pulling away from Jeongin. Jeongin looked at him, and cried with him, and told him, "Really, I-- you saved me, that day, from being bullied-- you introduced me to your friends-- you made my family so happy, because they know I'm okay, and they know I'm getting better, and they know I'm protected-- Jisung, it's all because of you. Thank you-- _thank you_."

Jisung smiled; and it was nice to see him smile after the little incident that had just barely passed. Jisung hugged Jeongin, "I'm happy-- I'm happy I helped you. I'm happy I know you. Innie, I-- I love you so much, and everyone does. We all love you so much."

"I love you all so much," Jeongin muttered, hugging Jisung again; and the two of them stay like that for a moment, with silence and sniffled in the wake of their small professions of love. Jisung was the one to speak first, asking Jeongin, "Do you want to go to Changbin's house?" and Jeongin had never been there, and wasn't sure if he was wanted there, but the question seemed too targeted for Jeongin to say no, so he agreed; and off they went.

All they did was greet Changbin. Jisung asked a few questions about what Shinhyuk had done, and Changbin gave him advice about patching himself up, and warned him what he might feel like, having been thrown around and hit the way he had. Other than that, though, all the three of them did was hang out, eat popcorn, and watch stupid videos that the three of them had saved in their YouTube playlists. They had fun together. Jeongin had fun with the two of them. Better yet, Jeongin was _comfortable_  with the two of them.

He was happy with the two of them; and he was happy with Felix, and Seungmin, and Hyunjin, too.

 

 

 

 **[6].**    His hair's a mess and he doesn't know who he is yet.

Jeongin really needs to fix his hair. His sister told him months ago that he needed to fix his damn hair, but he hadn't yet. He listened to her last year, and cut it about a month after she told him to, but he hadn't listened to her yet. How could he, when Seungmin kept telling him it was cute?

"You look good," Chaeyeon says, and Jeongin looks at her through the mirror, smiling. He thinks about how, at this time next year, he could have his braces off. He thought about how, at this time next year, he'll be a junior, and he'll be going to prom with Seungmin this time around; but Changbin insisted on taking him this year, because he was a senior, and he was the only one who _could_  take Jeongin, anyway. Sophomores and freshmen had to be invited by seniors. Last year, Jeongin couldn't even go to prom. Jisung had, though; that senior they were talking about, Minho, had taken him. Seungmin whined, and Changbin said if juniors were allowed to bring sophomores and freshmen, he would take Seungmin. Seungmin whined about the fact that juniors could go to prom but couldn't bring anyone along unless they were juniors or seniors, too. Changbin didn't go to prom last year, and stayed over at Seungmin's house all weekend to make him feel better.

Jeongin adores his friends.

"Have fun tonight, okay?" Chaeyeon tells him, and Jeongin nods. He heads downstairs, where Changbin is talking with his parents, looking beautiful and done-up in his suit. Changbin stands, and makes a scene about bowing to him and holding an arm out for him. Jeongin smacks his arm and takes Changbin's hand, waves to his parents as Changbin takes him outside. His car is in the driveway, and Felix is out there with Seungmin, and they're laughing together as they lean against Changbin's trunk.

"Innie!" Seungmin says happily, stealing Jeongin from Changbin. Changbin smiles, and tucks an arm around Felix-- "We ready?"

"Hyunjin and Jisung already got there," Seungmin says, opening Changbin's back door for Jeongin, "They're saving us spots in line."

"They're blessings." Felix says, climbing into the front seat. They all strap in, and start for the venue. Jeongin is quiet, just happily listening to his friends joke around, but Seungmin pulls him into the conversation soon enough, tugging at his fingers and asking, "Are you nervous?"

"No." Jeongin says, smiling. "Just happy. With you, and with the fact that Shinhyuk can't come to prom."

"Don't forget, he's also graduating." Changbin says, smiling at Jeongin through the rear-view mirror, "Just a few more weeks, and he's completely out of our hair."

"He's not even bothering me much anymore. I think Jisung scared him off after attacking him last year." Jeongin says, and they all laugh. There are times the six of them feel bad for Shinhyuk, an there was a time they even considered slowly adopting him into their friendship group, but he had left too many scars on all of them to do so-- somehow hitting and tormenting every fear they had-- pushing against all the buttons that set off Jeongin's social anxiety and panic attacks, bringing up Jisung's past trauma of seeing his father strangled to death. He ruined Changbin-- made him _so_  scared of hurting people, and made Felix so insecure about his Korean; he didn't speak to anyone at school for a month, and spread the rumor that he was mute because he was too stupid to learn new languages. He scared Hyunjin into thinking he was going to take Jisung away, somehow; and he threatened to take Changbin back, and start harming Seungmin with Changbin on his side--after Seungmin had taken so long to trust Changbin. He _ruined_ them. He didn't deserve that chance.

"Don't think about it." Seungmin says, reading Jeongin like an open book. He squeezed Jeongin's fingers, and Jeongin shakes his head, "I can't help it, sometimes. It's okay. It doesn't bother me. _He_  doesn't bother me."

"He doesn't bother any of us anymore." Seungmin says. He leans over and kisses Jeongin's head, "I'm happy I met you, Jeongin."

"I'm happy I met you, too. All of you." Jeongin says. Felix looks back, and reaches back, and squeezes Jeongin's cheek softly. Jeongin is so happy. Jeongin is _so_ , so happy; and he never thought he would be in high school. He thought high school was going to be a time of being confused and trying to find himself; and it is, but with Seungmin, and Felix, and Jisung, and Hyunjin, and Changbin, it's much easier. With his two families-- which, as the months drew on and his friends spent more time at his house-- were merging into one, Jeongin has it so easy. He's _so_  happy.

He owes it all to Jisung, he thinks.


End file.
